Me: Hello?

Guy: Isth Jim der?

Me: No he's not. Can I take a message?

Guy: Nah. Uh. He just wantealksjdf; dkjf;asldkfja; sldkjf;sdkljf a;kfbatllejrakj kjifkajelkj.

Me: Well, he just left for work about an hour ago. Would you like his cell number?

Guy: Nah. Nah. I goth that. Uh. Uh. Wenz he spossed to come home toonite? Eelevin?

Me: It really depends sir.

Guy: Alright. Tank ya. I'll cawl back a;lskdjfa ;sdkfj alsdkfj .

CLICK.

Dear lord.

And then my mom looks over here and yells at me for being too nice.

Nice.

before & after