Ok ok, no I didn't like, chill on the side of a street corner exchanging life stories with two teethed poor folk, but I did sit on a bench with one in a mall in Norfolk, Virginia.

After she got done sipping on her Hi-C fruit juice box, (yeah, I thought poor people couldn't have like 'brand name' stuff either..Maybe she found it in a trashcan.) she turned to me and told me how gorgeous I was.

I wasn't about to believe her, although her shiny one tooth up front and her 987987 bags she had seemed awful convincing, I've often heard these people have wierd mental illnesses that cause them to lie.

First of all, I'm going to hell. Secondly, she also had some kick ass forest green sweatpants on.

Anyway, another homeless person (who, by the way totally had a discman) walked up to us.
The woman apparently knew him, stood up and was all "Yo ghettoness blah blah mumble, what up!?"

They exchanged this weird handshake, which I'm convinced is like secret hobo buisness code for something, but whatever.

He asked her where she was staying etc, she responded with 'St. Andrews Church,' and she continued to mumble.

I wasn't really sure what the hell she was talking about, but I sure did make this out...

"Well, I had some beanie weenies..More beans then the weenies, but you know how it goes..."

Anyway, this story really had no point, I just wanted to share that once in a lifetime opportunity with everyone, and include that priceless quote.

I know you're so jealous.

before & after